And he had peace on every side all around him. 1 Kings 4:24
The couples weekend away was a great celebration of joy for us. The fragrance of love filled the air. The Apple trees, Apricot trees, Oak trees and Pomegranate trees all stood tall providing shade for their loved one. Tayoman won the quiz while Dr Aje surprised his wife with a 21-year-old treasure all boxed up with a bow. Team Odunlami won the dancing competition “hands up legs down”. It was fun. We created many sweet and lasting memories.
During the teachings and discussions, it was reinforced that we need to fight for our marriage. I realised that there truly is a path of peace in our homes Lk 1:79. The result would be a constant release of the fragrance of love.
Sorry is a powerful tool of peace. The questions are how frequently do we say sorry, how do we say sorry and do we mean it when we say it. For some, sorry comes naturally. They are quick to say sorry. They do not need to be in the right or wrong.
For others, saying sorry is more difficult. It is not a matter of pride. It just does not come naturally. Sorry for me is easy. It is harder for my wife. Maybe I just get it wrong more times. For peace sake, we all need to learn how to say sorry. It’s not just for one party! So does your spouse’s sorry mean sorry to you. I have learnt that sorry has it own language – the apology language. Only the sorry that you understand will you appreciate. You should say sorry in your spouse’s language for them to understand and accept it. According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 ways of saying sorry. I am now more enlightened. I only knew the sorry in straight words accompanied sometimes by flowers.
Although you have said sorry does not mean your spouse will forget the incident. It means that they have forgiven you and would not react in future to that same incident. Only God forgives and totally forgets. He washes us clean with the blood of His Son Jesus. He chooses to forget our past misbehaviours. So, pursuing peace is God-like. Forgiving our spouse’s accidental or even deliberate hurts is being like our Father.
Time to process incidents is sometimes required before you can discuss and make up. If you are a rhino, you will need to give your spouse some space. If you are a hedgehog, you will need to come out of your cuddle ball before you go to bed because you cannot let the sun go down on your anger Eph 4:26.
Saying sorry does not always mean you are wrong. It could be your desire to walk in partnership, hand in hand, on the path of peace. Peace brings growth; where there is peace there is safety. I was recently reminded that “Shalom” the Greek word for peace means far more than an absence of hostility or strife. It means completeness, soundness, well-being, every kind of blessing and good. It includes harmony and concord between people. It covers spiritual well-being, living under the favour of God. Wow, if all those benefits come from peace, we should pursue it with all our strength.
The Love boat has docked. The journey on land has begun again. Let’s fight for our marriage. Make a commitment that whatever it takes we will put into our relationship to make it a great success.
Dear Father, we thank you for giving us your Son, Jesus, the Prince of Peace. We pray for the fragrant of your love, peace and joy to constantly fill our homes.
By Rev. Kayode Adewumi